“It’s complicated.” If you remember this Facebook relationship status, you know what I’m talking about. Navigating the world of relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to labels (or the lack of them). These days, there’s a new term for undefined relationships: situationships. It’s even become so popular that “situationship” landed on Oxford’s 2023 Word of the Year shortlist. It’s not just a buzzword. Tinder says more people are adding it to their dating bios. They are embracing this new way of looking at relationships.
What is a situationship, and why are so many of us okay with getting into something unclear? If you are thinking about a situationship, here’s what you should know. You might also find some personal insights helpful.
Table of Contents
What Exactly Is a Situationship?
The easiest way to explain a situationship is by looking at what it’s not. It’s not traditional, but it’s not exactly casual either. There aren’t clear boundaries, no “official” status, and usually no exclusivity. In short, it’s one of those relationships that’s…well, complicated.
I remember trying to explain this type of relationship to a friend. They asked if I was “seeing someone” or “in a relationship.” I could only say, “We’re just…hanging out.” That’s basically the vibe of a situationship. Dr. Catherine Nobile, a psychologist, explains it clearly. In a situationship, there is no clear commitment or exclusivity. This makes it different from regular relationships. A situationship is marked by uncertainty
Feelings may definitely be involved—I mean, you’re not spending all that time together for no reason. But there is often little or no talk about the future. A conversation about “where things are going” may never happen. A situationship can feel like a good balance if you want flexibility. However, it can feel unsettling if you secretly hope for more.
So, Why Do People Choose Situationships?
There are a few reasons why situationships are on the rise, and some of them may surprise you. Here are the main factors that draw people in:
- Exploring Without Pressure:
One thing that situationships offer is the chance to explore a relationship without the pressure of defining it. And let’s be honest, that’s pretty appealing. A Tinder report shows that young singles often like situationships. They like this way to get to know someone without making it official. In a survey by Top10.com, about 16% of men said a situationship lets them explore their feelings without pressure. I can personally relate to this feeling. A situationship felt like a no-stress zone. I could just be myself without worrying about having the talk. - Fear of Committing to the Wrong Person:
Another big factor is the fear of jumping into a serious relationship with someone who isn’t the right fit. One in five Gen Zers in the Top10.com survey found that people prefer situationships. They like this because they don’t want to feel stuck. They also don’t want to settle for someone who isn’t a good long-term match. I can’t blame them. Commitment is a big step. It makes sense to avoid a full relationship until you are sure. - Financial Concerns:
With inflation and rising costs, dating can be expensive. A survey by Archrival found that 71% of Gen Zers can’t always afford to go on dates. About one-third have ended relationships because of the cost. For Gen Z men, finances are important. About 63% say they cannot get serious because of money issues. Additionally, 61% say they lack private space for dating. Many live with family or roommates. For anyone in this situation, situationships can be a better choice. There’s no need for regular dates. This way, you can save money and just enjoy being together.
The Pros and Cons of Situationships
Now that we know what situationships are and why people are into them, let’s talk about the good and the bad. If you’re thinking about stepping into one, here are some things to consider:
The Pros:
- Freedom Without Commitment
One of the biggest perks is the freedom. With a situationship, you can enjoy someone’s company without the demands that come with a committed relationship. This was especially appealing when I was focusing on personal goals. I didn’t have time for a serious relationship, but I still wanted companionship and some romance. - Room to Develop Naturally
Situationships let you get to know someone on a relaxed level. There’s no pressure to jump into labels or DTR (define the relationship). It’s a simple way to explore emotional and physical closeness. For me, it felt more real to take my time and let things grow naturally. - Enjoyment Without Long-Term Expectations
If you’re not in a rush to find “the one,” situationships are an ideal setup. Dara Rahill, the founder of Dara Rae Matchmaking, says these setups can help people enjoy companionship. They offer intimacy without the pressure of a long-term commitment. When both people are upfront about what they want, it can be a really fun, easy-going arrangement.
The Cons:
But, like anything, situationships come with their own set of challenges:
- Someone Often Gets Hurt
The catch with situationships is that they rarely stay casual. According to Rahill, feelings get complicated, and one person often wants more. And from my own experience, that’s spot on—eventually, someone develops expectations that may not be shared. - Lack of Direction
Situationships can feel unsteady if you’re looking for something solid. When both people are unsure about their commitment, there’s no guarantee of growth or progression. It’s exciting at first, but after a while, it can feel like it’s holding you back from finding something more fulfilling.
How to Handle a Situationship Successfully
If you’re considering a situationship, a little self-awareness and communication can go a long way. Here are a few tips that can help keep things light and healthy:
End Things Respectfully
Ending a situationship can be tricky, especially since it’s a relationship that never officially “started.” But one of the best parts of a situationship is that it often ends without hard feelings. With clear, honest communication, you can part ways amicably if it’s no longer meeting your needs.
Be Clear About What You Want
Make sure you and the other person aren’t looking for anything serious. Going into a situationship hoping it will somehow turn into something more isn’t usually a recipe for success. Check in with yourself often—feelings can change, and you want to stay honest about whether this setup is still right for you.
Enjoy It as a Temporary Stop
I like to think of situationships as a “pit stop” in my romantic life. Enjoy it while it lasts, but keep it light. As Dara Rahill puts it, “Ask yourself if this dynamic is helping you or holding you back from something meaningful.” As long as both of you are happy, there’s no harm in enjoying the ride. But once you’re ready for something more, be open to moving on.
RELATED READING: Dating and Relationships: The Ultimate Guide for Men
