Dating in 2023 is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions, frustrating, confusing, and you’re not entirely sure what you’re doing wrong. But don’t worry, I’ve got your back. Whether you’re swiping on apps or meeting someone IRL, these modern dating tips will help you navigate the chaos and build meaningful connections. Let’s dive in.
Table of Contents
Be Old School (But Not in a Creepy Way)
When it comes to relationship advice for men, Charlie Spokes, founder of My Friend Charlie, says it’s all about respect and simplicity. Her grandpa’s advice? “Picture yourself sitting opposite them at breakfast every morning.” If you can handle their morning quirks, whether it’s their obsession with avocado toast or their inability to function before coffee, you might have a winner.
And in the #MeToo era, respect is non-negotiable. Approach with confidence, but don’t be pushy. A simple, “Hi, I’d like to buy you a drink sometime,” can go a long way. One guy nailed it by saying, “I don’t want to interrupt your night with your friends, but here’s my number if you’d like to grab a drink sometime.” Smooth. Effective. Not desperate. Take notes, gentlemen.
Put the Phone Down and Talk Like a Human
Nichi Hodgson, a dating expert, warns that apps are killing our ability to flirt IRL. How to date in the digital age without losing your charm? Put the phone down and practice real conversation. Ghosting and breadcrumbing might be easy, but they’re also lazy. If you’re nervous, remember: confidence is key, but desperation is a turn-off.
Here’s a pro tip: Start with something specific. Instead of the generic “Hey,” try commenting on something in your environment. For example, if you’re at a coffee shop, say, “I’m trying to decide between a latte and a cappuccino, what’s your go-to order?” It’s simple, non-threatening, and opens the door for a real conversation.
And if they’re not interested, move on gracefully. No one likes the guy who won’t take a hint. Trust me, I’ve been that guy, and it’s not a good look.
Use Tech to Your Advantage (Yes, Really)
Dr. Robert Weissman, a relationship specialist, says tech doesn’t have to ruin your love life. Instead of scrolling mindlessly, use it to connect. Video chats, online games, and even sexting (if you’re both into it) can keep the spark alive.
There are even apps that remind you to do nice things for your partner, like sending a sweet text or planning a date night. For example, apps like Love Nudge or Lasting can help you stay connected and intentional in your relationship.
But here’s the key: Don’t let tech replace real-life interactions. If you’re sitting on the couch together, both glued to your phones, you’re doing it wrong. Set boundaries, like a “no phones during dinner” rule, to ensure you’re actually present with each other.
Have Standards (But Don’t Be a Jerk)
Lauren Crouch, aka @UnluckiestDater, says relationship advice for men should include this: “Being fussy and having standards are not the same thing.” You’re allowed to have deal-breakers, but don’t get so hung up on finding “the perfect type” that you miss out on someone amazing.
For example, I once dated someone who didn’t share my love of horror movies. At first, I thought it was a deal-breaker. But then I realized she introduced me to rom-coms, and now I can quote The Notebook like a pro. The point is, be open to people who challenge you and bring something new to the table.
And if things aren’t working out, have the guts to end it properly. Ghosting is for cowards. A simple, “Hey, this isn’t working for me,” is all it takes. It’s respectful, honest, and saves everyone time.
Honesty Is the Best Policy (Seriously)
Roger McEwan, a single dad and author, drops some truth bombs: “Always tell the truth. It’s easiest to remember.” Lies have a way of snowballing, and before you know it, you’re stuck in a web of your own BS.
For example, I once lied about liking sushi to impress a date. Fast forward to our third date, and she surprised me with a sushi-making class. Let’s just say my inability to roll a California roll was not my finest moment. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, so don’t screw it up.
And if you mess up (because let’s face it, we all do), own it. Apologize, learn from it, and do better. It’s called being an adult.
Love Yourself First
Ant Smith, author of The Small Penis Bible, knows a thing or two about body image issues. His advice? “Love yourself. If you believe you’re inherently unloveable, you’ll never commit fully to the idea that someone loves you.”
Confidence is sexy, and it starts with how you see yourself. Stop comparing yourself to Instagram models or action heroes. You’re not them, and that’s okay. Focus on being the best version of yourself, whether that’s hitting the gym, pursuing a hobby, or just practicing self-care.
And remember, confidence isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being comfortable in your own skin. I used to hate my receding hairline until I realized it made me look like Jason Statham. Now I own it, and so should you.
Dress to Impress (But Keep It Simple)
Daniel Johnson, a men’s stylist, reminds us that looking good isn’t just for first dates. “Dressing well is a form of good manners,” he says. You don’t need to look like a GQ model, but putting in a little effort shows you care.
His go-to outfit? A well-fitted white shirt, dark jeans, and suede shoes. Simple, classic, and impossible to mess up. And if you’re not sure where to start, invest in a few key pieces: a tailored blazer, a pair of versatile sneakers, and a watch that says, “I’m an adult, but I’m still fun.”
Trust me, looking good isn’t just about attracting a partner, it’s about feeling good in your own skin. And when you feel good, it shows.
Love Isn’t Enough (Sorry, Not Sorry)
Male model Sam Way has been through the wringer when it comes to relationships. His advice? “Love isn’t enough.” Shocking, I know. But think about it: you can love someone and still be completely wrong for each other.
Timing, shared goals, and mutual respect matter just as much as chemistry. And if you’re going to be monogamous, make sure the spark is still there. Otherwise, you’re just roommates who share a Netflix password.
One piece of wisdom that rings truest for him is disarmingly practical: “A relationship is like a pot of honey. If you don’t keep filling it back up, it’ll go over time.” So, keep the romance alive, whether it’s through surprise date nights, thoughtful gestures, or just saying “I love you” more often.
FAQs About Modern Dating Tips
Q: What are the best dating apps for men?
A: It depends on what you’re looking for. Hinge is great for serious relationships, Tinder for casual dating, and Bumble if you want women to make the first move.
Q: How do I build a strong relationship in the digital age?
A: Communication, trust, and effort are key. Use tech to stay connected, but don’t let it replace real-life interactions.
Q: What’s the best way to approach someone IRL?
A: Be confident but respectful. A simple, “Hi, I’d like to buy you a drink sometime,” works wonders.
Final Thoughts
Dating in the digital age doesn’t have to be a nightmare. With these modern dating tips and a little effort, you can navigate the chaos and build meaningful connections. Remember, it’s about respect, communication, and being true to yourself.
RELATED READING: Dating and Relationships: The Ultimate Guide for Men
