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90s Kind of Love: Why Modern Love Can’t Compare

by Tommy Dean
5 minutes read

Ever wondered what it would be like to experience 90s kind of love, without the screens, the swipes, and endless notifications? Imagine a time when love was simpler—when getting to know someone meant spending hours talking, not scrolling. You might miss that kind of connection. Or you may wonder why love in the ’90s feels so different from dating now.

Let’s be real: the dating scene now is complicated. Today, we are checking online profiles. We are waiting for text replies. We are also deciding how to present ourselves on social media. It’s exhausting, and it sometimes feels like love has become more of a performance than a genuine connection. If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not alone. Many of us long for something more real, more like what we imagine love was like back in the ‘90’s.


Why the ‘90’s Felt Like the Perfect Era for Love

In the ‘90’s, relationships were built on conversations, experiences, and a little bit of mystery. You didn’t know everything about someone just by looking them up online. If you wanted to know what they were doing or how their day went, you’d pick up the phone and call or actually ask them in person.

There’s something about that kind of connection that feels more meaningful. Without constant notifications and online profiles, the ’90s focused on real moments. We shared mixtapes and made plans to meet up. We didn’t have instant texting. Sometimes, we even waited by the phone to hear their voice. It was a time when relationships had space to grow naturally, without outside pressures from likes or comments.

90s kind of love

How Technology Changed the Game of Love

Technology has made staying connected easier, but it also added layers of complexity to relationships. Here’s how modern dating often differs from a ‘90’s romance:

  • Digital Overload: In the ‘90’s, your interactions were limited to real-time conversations. Today, there’s a sense of always being available, and it can be exhausting. Notifications, texts, and social media have made it hard to disconnect and just be present with someone.
  • The Pressure to Perform: Now, relationships often feel like they need to be “on display.” Social media posts, couple photos, and “relationship status” updates make private matters public.
  • Curated Personas vs. Authenticity: With social media, people are crafting idealized versions of themselves. The 90’s didn’t have filters, and relationships didn’t come with highlight reels.

Imagine dating without all these distractions. It’s no surprise we remember the ’90s as a time when relationships felt more stable. Just being there was enough.


Why a ‘90’s Kind of Love Feels So Different

A 90’s love was all about small moments. There was no need for “couple goals” posts or perfectly curated date photos. Love wasn’t about putting on a show for followers; it was about being there for each other in real ways. If you missed each other, you couldn’t just send a quick text—you’d have to wait until you could be together again. In relationships, there was patience, mystery, and anticipation. We rarely feel this in our fast-paced culture today.

Here are a Few Ways ‘90’s Love Stood Out

  1. Face-to-Face Connection
    Back then, if you wanted to see someone, you’d go over and spend time with them. It wasn’t about catching up over texts but making the effort to connect in person. There was something truly exciting about this. It was the energy of being in the same space as someone you like.
  2. No Screens to Hide Behind
    Before dating apps and social media, people had to get used to talking in person. They also had to handle some awkward silences. And there was beauty in that. Silence wasn’t uncomfortable; it was just part of being around each other.
  3. The Power of Waiting
    Imagine waiting to hear from someone without obsessively checking your phone. In the ‘90’s, anticipation played a big role in relationships. You’d leave a message, and then you’d wait, not knowing when they’d call back or when you’d see them next. That anticipation made those moments together even more special.
  4. Thoughtful Gestures
    In a world without digital likes, people found other ways to show they cared. Think of mixtapes made just for you, handwritten notes, or the effort it took to meet up in person. Love was shown through actions, not status updates.
90s kind of love

What We Can Learn from ‘90’s Romance

We can’t bring back the ‘90s, but we can use some ideas from that time. These ideas can help make our relationships more meaningful today

  1. Be Present
    When you’re with someone, put your phone away. Show up fully for that person. Let them know they have your attention, and don’t let digital distractions get in the way.
  2. Make Small Gestures Count
    Instead of focusing on grand, showy gestures, focus on the little things—send a thoughtful text, bring their favorite snack, or leave a note. It’s the small acts that often mean the most.
  3. Embrace the Mystery
    In the ‘90’s, you didn’t know everything about someone just from looking at their profile. Try to let conversations reveal more about each other rather than stalking their social media. It keeps things interesting and allows you to get to know each other more naturally.
  4. Disconnect to Connect
    Take breaks from social media, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Instead of worrying about updating others, focus on being with each other and creating your own unique memories.

Remembering My Own ‘90’s Moment

I remember my first crush back in high school during the late ‘90’s. It was the kind of crush where you’d wait by the phone, hoping they’d call. When they finally did, every minute felt like it mattered. The thrill wasn’t just in talking to them; it was in waiting, wondering, and then finally connecting. Today, I sometimes wish for that thrill again—that feeling that every moment counts because it wasn’t just a quick text away.


Bring a Little ‘90’s Love Into Today

If you’re feeling nostalgic for a different kind of love, why not try bringing a little ‘90’s vibe into your relationships? Take a break from screens. Give each other your full attention. Create memories that don’t need a post or a caption. Embrace the anticipation, the simplicity, and the magic of real connection.


Rediscover the Joy of Real Moments

At the end of the day, it’s not about going back in time. It’s about bringing some of that simple beauty into our lives today. You don’t need to escape to the past to make love meaningful. It’s about finding ways to stay grounded, focus on each other, and leave the distractions behind. The love you’re looking for doesn’t need a filter—it just needs your full attention.

Here’s to More ‘90’s-Style Moments in Love

Here’s a little challenge: next time you’re with someone you care about, resist the urge to pull out your phone. Enjoy the silence, embrace the real connection, and make it about just the two of you. Who knows? You might find that love feels a little different when it’s just about the moment and not the likes.

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Tommy Dean Lifestyle Staff Writer
Tommy Dean focuses on bringing a practical yet inspiring perspective to life. His goal is to help readers find simple ways to enhance their lives and embrace a balanced, fulfilling lifestyle.
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